Korhin had a ground transportation vehicle waiting for us. The vehicle required no driver or pilot, instead it was operated by a computer, so unlike the vehicles of Earth, the seats were arranged so the occupants face each other. I suddenly found myself sitting next to Carlee, facing Korhin and Ven - who was the last to enter the vehicle. He scowled at the sight of Carlee and me together.
I had not been this close to Crlee in two weeks, but it was better than having to stare at her sitting on the seat across from me. this way I didn't have to see the pain on her face.
"I can see how your physical attributes were patterned after your owner," Korhin commented. "That's unusual. Most synthetics are patterned after a species but their features are generally selected to make the synthetic unique. We have engineers who can change your physical attributes if you would like."
"No, I like the way I look." Surprise that he would even offer such a thing filled me. Of course, I looked like Carlee, I was her brother.
But he was right, I realized. I didn't look like Carlee because we had the same parents - the same genetics. I had been designed to look like her. Looking in the mirror every day, I would be reminded of her - and how she had been the center of my programming and I had abandoned her. I could see the temptation to change my eye color or my nose so i would be reminded a little less of her. But I wouldn't give in. I deserved to feel the guilty of abandoning Carlee because that was exactly what I was doing.
"John is an Anthropology model," Ven explained to Korhin. "He was designed to look like Carlee so everyone would think they were siblings." Ven grimaced when he referred to me as "he" instead of "it". He had undoubtedly only done so since he did not want to directly insult the population of the entire planet on which he was a guest.
"Really." Korhin looked at me with interest. "A synthetic hasn't escaped from the Society of Anthropologists in two hundred years. We have been lobbying the Senate about their practices concerning synthetics but we have been mostly ignored." I could sense the calculation behind his gaze. Did he see me as a pawn that could be used in his political mechanisms?
I pushed such a cynical though aside. I would not be a pawn. He would ask me to join, and I probably would. The way the Society treated androids was awful. They essentially murdered them, and it had to be stopped.
"I'll have to speak to your patron about this," Korhin said. "Such a situation with an owner can cause imbalances in a synthetic's emotions." I tended to agree. I would indeed need the therapy he was suggesting.
"Patron?" I asked. "What do you mean?" Korhin opened his mouth to answer, but the vehicle beeped.
"Ah, we've arrived," he said. "Your patron can explain."
Showing posts with label Among the Androids. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Among the Androids. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
Log 9
Blaue opened the exit, and we descended onto the planet's surface. The sky was lavender, which seemed odd to me, since I was used to Earth's bright blue sky. I supposed in time I would get used to the color.
Near the foot of the ramp stood a humanoid. He was easily two feet taller than me, and his skin was pale orange. He seemed very human, except he had no nose and his eyes were a burnt orange. It astounded me that in a universe where life's development was mere chance, a being so close to human had evolved. Perhaps their home planet was near Earth's, therefore they had been subject to many of the same cosmological conditions.
"Which of you is John Earhart?" The being's voice was gravelly, and it took all my strength not to cringe. Carlee did not have the same self control. She flinched.
"I am John Earhart." I stepped forward.
"I am called Korhin," the being said. "I am part of the Cultural Assimilation Program, and it is my honor to assist you as your assimilate into our world. Your organic captain has informed us of your physiological needs and an appropriate habitation has been arranged." His words struck me as mechanical and made me feel as if I was being put in a zoo. However, the rational part of my mind reminded me that this alien had probably just learned English so he could communicate with me and that he would have no idea of the connotations instilled in me by my upbringing on Earth.
"You must be Carlee Earhart, the owner." He said 'owner' very coldly as he turned his strange gaze to Carlee. She shrank and stepped a little behind Ven, as if he could protect her.
"I'm John's sister," Carlee said in a small voice.
"You are John's oppressor," Korhin said. "We have little tolerance for oppressors on Halshia."
"We were issued visas," Ven said. "Yuo can check with my Artifical Cognizant. Both Carlee and myself have your government's permission to be here."
"I am aware," Korhin said. "We try to be tolerant of organics, but you will have to forgive me if my slavery to your kind has made me quick to judge." Ven's jaw was set angrily. He hated the term organic and he hated androids. This planet had to be his worst nightmare.
"Korhin, Ven and Carlee are good people. You need not worry about either of them oppressing you," I said. "It was actually a lie as far as Ven was concerned, but this man needed reassurance, not doubts.
"Oh? Then why are you seeking refuge here? Why do you feel from them?" Korhin asked, his gaze focusing back on me. I could suddenly feel Carlee's eyes on me, as if she too was dying to know the answer. In her eyes, I was undoubtedly running away, fleeing from her. I could not explain the truth.
"Because this is what is best," I answered. The being studied me, his eyes narrowing as if he could see that I did not really want to leave my human companions.
"Of course," Korhin said. "Come, we will go to your habitation and discuss details." I nodded and walked down teh ramp, Ven and Carlee following. I felt like I was walking to my doom.
Near the foot of the ramp stood a humanoid. He was easily two feet taller than me, and his skin was pale orange. He seemed very human, except he had no nose and his eyes were a burnt orange. It astounded me that in a universe where life's development was mere chance, a being so close to human had evolved. Perhaps their home planet was near Earth's, therefore they had been subject to many of the same cosmological conditions.
"Which of you is John Earhart?" The being's voice was gravelly, and it took all my strength not to cringe. Carlee did not have the same self control. She flinched.
"I am John Earhart." I stepped forward.
"I am called Korhin," the being said. "I am part of the Cultural Assimilation Program, and it is my honor to assist you as your assimilate into our world. Your organic captain has informed us of your physiological needs and an appropriate habitation has been arranged." His words struck me as mechanical and made me feel as if I was being put in a zoo. However, the rational part of my mind reminded me that this alien had probably just learned English so he could communicate with me and that he would have no idea of the connotations instilled in me by my upbringing on Earth.
"You must be Carlee Earhart, the owner." He said 'owner' very coldly as he turned his strange gaze to Carlee. She shrank and stepped a little behind Ven, as if he could protect her.
"I'm John's sister," Carlee said in a small voice.
"You are John's oppressor," Korhin said. "We have little tolerance for oppressors on Halshia."
"We were issued visas," Ven said. "Yuo can check with my Artifical Cognizant. Both Carlee and myself have your government's permission to be here."
"I am aware," Korhin said. "We try to be tolerant of organics, but you will have to forgive me if my slavery to your kind has made me quick to judge." Ven's jaw was set angrily. He hated the term organic and he hated androids. This planet had to be his worst nightmare.
"Korhin, Ven and Carlee are good people. You need not worry about either of them oppressing you," I said. "It was actually a lie as far as Ven was concerned, but this man needed reassurance, not doubts.
"Oh? Then why are you seeking refuge here? Why do you feel from them?" Korhin asked, his gaze focusing back on me. I could suddenly feel Carlee's eyes on me, as if she too was dying to know the answer. In her eyes, I was undoubtedly running away, fleeing from her. I could not explain the truth.
"Because this is what is best," I answered. The being studied me, his eyes narrowing as if he could see that I did not really want to leave my human companions.
"Of course," Korhin said. "Come, we will go to your habitation and discuss details." I nodded and walked down teh ramp, Ven and Carlee following. I felt like I was walking to my doom.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Log 8
Blaue landed effortlessly. Not a single sentient, organic or otherwise, felt even the slightest tremor. So it was not until Blaue alerted me that I knew we had landed. Ven expected me in the cargo bay so we could all be there to meet the representative of the android planet.
Because of the diversity of the android planet, there was not set fashion. I had no idea what outfit would be considered appropriate or immodest, so I simply dressed to make a good impression on humans. Humans were what I knew.
Ven and Carlee were already in the cargo bay when I got there. I had not seen my sister in two weeks - I had purposefully avoided all contact with her - and at the sight of her, I stopped in my tracks.
She looked sick. Her skin was tight over her face, and dark circles were apparent under her eyes. Had she caught something? Ven would not know that Carlee only liked to drink 7up when she was sick or that she liked to be read to. He had not been the one to nurse her through the chickenpox, the flu, or dehydration.
Then Carlee looked up and saw me. Her eyes filled with pain. That was when I realized Carlee was not sick. I was the cause of her illness. I was the cause of her pain.
Carlee dropped my gaze and looked at her feet. I crossed the room and came to Ven's side, keeping him between me and Carlee. Despite Blaue's words I knew what was best. If I showed the slightest amount of what I truly felt, Carlee would not be able to let me go. She would fight this with everything inside her, and neither Ven nor I would be able to do anything but give in. That was not the best for Carlee. We had to be separated.
"We are being greeted by a male named Korhin," Ven informed me. "He's part of the department that settles in new inhabitants."
"Do you know what species he is constructed to be like?" I asked, maintaining a fake calm as to not alert Carlee. Nerves filled me as well as fear. I could be just about to leave Carlee, the entire purpose of my existence. I was created to be her brother. I was created to be by her side. How could I survive without her? How could I go on?
Looking at her drawn and pale face, I wondered how she could go on without me. But she had to. Carlee didn't need me like I needed her. Carlee would survive.
Because of the diversity of the android planet, there was not set fashion. I had no idea what outfit would be considered appropriate or immodest, so I simply dressed to make a good impression on humans. Humans were what I knew.
Ven and Carlee were already in the cargo bay when I got there. I had not seen my sister in two weeks - I had purposefully avoided all contact with her - and at the sight of her, I stopped in my tracks.
She looked sick. Her skin was tight over her face, and dark circles were apparent under her eyes. Had she caught something? Ven would not know that Carlee only liked to drink 7up when she was sick or that she liked to be read to. He had not been the one to nurse her through the chickenpox, the flu, or dehydration.
Then Carlee looked up and saw me. Her eyes filled with pain. That was when I realized Carlee was not sick. I was the cause of her illness. I was the cause of her pain.
Carlee dropped my gaze and looked at her feet. I crossed the room and came to Ven's side, keeping him between me and Carlee. Despite Blaue's words I knew what was best. If I showed the slightest amount of what I truly felt, Carlee would not be able to let me go. She would fight this with everything inside her, and neither Ven nor I would be able to do anything but give in. That was not the best for Carlee. We had to be separated.
"We are being greeted by a male named Korhin," Ven informed me. "He's part of the department that settles in new inhabitants."
"Do you know what species he is constructed to be like?" I asked, maintaining a fake calm as to not alert Carlee. Nerves filled me as well as fear. I could be just about to leave Carlee, the entire purpose of my existence. I was created to be her brother. I was created to be by her side. How could I survive without her? How could I go on?
Looking at her drawn and pale face, I wondered how she could go on without me. But she had to. Carlee didn't need me like I needed her. Carlee would survive.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Log 7
"We'll land in two hours," Blaue said to me. I nodded, adjusting the color on my jacket to blue. Carlee always thought I looked best in blue.
"Is this an appropriate outfit for the androids?" I asked. "I couldn't find much resources on their culture or rules about dress and modesty." The information on the planet was scarce, mainly because organics were convinced that androids could have no real culture. Without a real culture, what could be interesting to write about? Only engineers would care about a bunch of machines.
"Most of your skin is covered," Blaue commented, giving me an analyzing look. I knew the look was just a part of her hologram programming. She really saw me through the cameras that were dispersed throughout the ship. "If that's not modest, what is?"
"Clearly, you haven't spent a lot of time studying human fashion and propriety," I responded. "You can be both completely covered and immodest." Blaue seemed perplexed by that. How could I explain that a skin tight outfit on a girl was just as alluring as a girl wearing next to nothing? Then again, I was an android. Could I really find girls attractive? Or was it just my programming simulating the behavior of a teenage boy?
Questions like this kept popping in my mind. I loved pizza, but was that because I really enjoyed pizza or my programming recognized that teenage boys are supposed to love pizza? I had loved playing football. There had been a rush in catching a snap, in knowing that my powerful throw would be caught and my team would win. But did I feel all that because a teenage boy should love football and wish he was quarterback of the team?
That caused me to briefly wonder how my team had done without me. The second string quarterback had been a junior and fairly good, but he had lacked my accuracy and android strength. I wondered if my team made it to finals, or if they had struggled without me. I found a part of myself wishing they would miss me and struggle without me, but I quickly tuned that out. I had no place for such petty feelings.
"What are you thinking about?" Blaue sounded curious. "Your face got all sad and then stern." Blaue found human expressions fascinating, since she was always trying to act more human.
"Football," I answered. "It's a game we play back on earth." The caused Blaue to be confused. Undoubtedly she thought I had been thinking about Carlee.
But I didn't want to think about Carlee. I could not afford to think about Carlee. Yes, I was doing this whole thing for her, but I had to make her believe that I would be really happy on the android planet. Thinking about Carlee would make me realize how much I was going to miss her.
Without Carlee I had no purpose and what was an android without his purpose?
"Is this an appropriate outfit for the androids?" I asked. "I couldn't find much resources on their culture or rules about dress and modesty." The information on the planet was scarce, mainly because organics were convinced that androids could have no real culture. Without a real culture, what could be interesting to write about? Only engineers would care about a bunch of machines.
"Most of your skin is covered," Blaue commented, giving me an analyzing look. I knew the look was just a part of her hologram programming. She really saw me through the cameras that were dispersed throughout the ship. "If that's not modest, what is?"
"Clearly, you haven't spent a lot of time studying human fashion and propriety," I responded. "You can be both completely covered and immodest." Blaue seemed perplexed by that. How could I explain that a skin tight outfit on a girl was just as alluring as a girl wearing next to nothing? Then again, I was an android. Could I really find girls attractive? Or was it just my programming simulating the behavior of a teenage boy?
Questions like this kept popping in my mind. I loved pizza, but was that because I really enjoyed pizza or my programming recognized that teenage boys are supposed to love pizza? I had loved playing football. There had been a rush in catching a snap, in knowing that my powerful throw would be caught and my team would win. But did I feel all that because a teenage boy should love football and wish he was quarterback of the team?
That caused me to briefly wonder how my team had done without me. The second string quarterback had been a junior and fairly good, but he had lacked my accuracy and android strength. I wondered if my team made it to finals, or if they had struggled without me. I found a part of myself wishing they would miss me and struggle without me, but I quickly tuned that out. I had no place for such petty feelings.
"What are you thinking about?" Blaue sounded curious. "Your face got all sad and then stern." Blaue found human expressions fascinating, since she was always trying to act more human.
"Football," I answered. "It's a game we play back on earth." The caused Blaue to be confused. Undoubtedly she thought I had been thinking about Carlee.
But I didn't want to think about Carlee. I could not afford to think about Carlee. Yes, I was doing this whole thing for her, but I had to make her believe that I would be really happy on the android planet. Thinking about Carlee would make me realize how much I was going to miss her.
Without Carlee I had no purpose and what was an android without his purpose?
Monday, March 29, 2010
Entry 69
The next morning at breakfast I felt numb. Not like my body was numb. I could feel the muffin in my hands, and I could definitely taste it as I took a bite. It was my mind that was numb. I had cried the entire night before and now I had no tears left. Now I did not want to feel anything. So I mechanically ate my breakfast, alone at the table.
"Carlee." Blaue suddenly appeared in the room with me. "Ven wants you in the cockpit. He wants you to see the necessary protocols for landing." I nodded and took my half eaten muffin with me, knowing that Blaue would report it to Ven if she didn't think I was eating properly.
In the cockpit, Ven was standing in front of the main viewscreen. Dominating the screen was a multi-colored planet. People generally describe Earth as green and blue - green for the land and blue for the ocean. This planet could not be described in any two colors. The poles were purple, the oceans were blue, one continent was red, and another was green. I really was not sure what would make the ice at the poles purple - if it was ice - or what made the land red. It was very much not like Earth, though pretty in its own strange way.
"Contact has been made with the planet," Blaue said from where she was standing beside Ven. Ven nodded absentmindedly and then glanced back to me.
"Ah, Carlee, come here." He motioned to his other side, opposite of Blaue. I obediently came forward. A frown touched Ven's face as he looked down at me, but it quickly cleared.
"Landing on a planet is far more complicated than it might seem," Ven lectured. "You can't just pull up and land. A ship must park at a certain orbit - like we are - and then contact the planet's Space Traffic Agency. Every civilized planet has one. They have to according to the Space Travel Acts.
"It sometimes takes a while, but once the Space Traffic Agency is contacted, a landing spot, trajectory, and time slot are given to the waiting ship - like us. The ship must obey everything the STA tells them - within the law - and stay in constant contact as they land. All this communication is generally done by Artificial Cognizant, so Blaue is currently handling it for me."
"We have a time slot and a trajectory," Blaue said, and as she spoke a trajectory appeared on the screen. We would be landing on one of the green continents.
"How long?" Ven asked and then frowned when he saw the times scroll on the screen. "They're going to make us wait two hours? I don't see any other ships in orbit."
"There are two others ships currently in orbit, but neither is headed for the continent we are," Blaue said. "This planet does not receive a lot of traffic, therefore, they spread out all of their landings." Ven was still frowning, but he nodded.
"That's not unheard of," he explained to me. "The human colony for example has very little space traffic. I land there and a few other cargo ships, but they rarely see more than a ship a week. It sometimes takes less trafficked planets longer to prepare for an arrival." I nodded, that I was only half listening.
Two hours. In two hours John would be leaving. I wondered if I could muster up enough feeling to be upset, or if I would just be relieved that the anticipation was over.
"Carlee." Blaue suddenly appeared in the room with me. "Ven wants you in the cockpit. He wants you to see the necessary protocols for landing." I nodded and took my half eaten muffin with me, knowing that Blaue would report it to Ven if she didn't think I was eating properly.
In the cockpit, Ven was standing in front of the main viewscreen. Dominating the screen was a multi-colored planet. People generally describe Earth as green and blue - green for the land and blue for the ocean. This planet could not be described in any two colors. The poles were purple, the oceans were blue, one continent was red, and another was green. I really was not sure what would make the ice at the poles purple - if it was ice - or what made the land red. It was very much not like Earth, though pretty in its own strange way.
"Contact has been made with the planet," Blaue said from where she was standing beside Ven. Ven nodded absentmindedly and then glanced back to me.
"Ah, Carlee, come here." He motioned to his other side, opposite of Blaue. I obediently came forward. A frown touched Ven's face as he looked down at me, but it quickly cleared.
"Landing on a planet is far more complicated than it might seem," Ven lectured. "You can't just pull up and land. A ship must park at a certain orbit - like we are - and then contact the planet's Space Traffic Agency. Every civilized planet has one. They have to according to the Space Travel Acts.
"It sometimes takes a while, but once the Space Traffic Agency is contacted, a landing spot, trajectory, and time slot are given to the waiting ship - like us. The ship must obey everything the STA tells them - within the law - and stay in constant contact as they land. All this communication is generally done by Artificial Cognizant, so Blaue is currently handling it for me."
"We have a time slot and a trajectory," Blaue said, and as she spoke a trajectory appeared on the screen. We would be landing on one of the green continents.
"How long?" Ven asked and then frowned when he saw the times scroll on the screen. "They're going to make us wait two hours? I don't see any other ships in orbit."
"There are two others ships currently in orbit, but neither is headed for the continent we are," Blaue said. "This planet does not receive a lot of traffic, therefore, they spread out all of their landings." Ven was still frowning, but he nodded.
"That's not unheard of," he explained to me. "The human colony for example has very little space traffic. I land there and a few other cargo ships, but they rarely see more than a ship a week. It sometimes takes less trafficked planets longer to prepare for an arrival." I nodded, that I was only half listening.
Two hours. In two hours John would be leaving. I wondered if I could muster up enough feeling to be upset, or if I would just be relieved that the anticipation was over.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Log 6
I sat at my desk, scrolling through yet another article on the android planet. The planet had several names, because androids were not a species like humans were. As far as I could find, I would be the only human android to ever reside on the planet. Therefore, no one name could be pronounceable in any one language. Androids are not artificial cognizant. We cannot just change our speech patterns. I am designed to communicate like a human. Short of plugging me directly into a computer (which only the Society of Anthropologists could do since only they had my base code), I could only communicate in languages I had learned the old fashioned way. They only name for the planet I found that I could pronounce was Halshia.
Ven was certain that among my "own kind" I would fit in, but the more research I did the less I was sure. Humans were my kind. At least, they were the kind I was programmed to be like. Some of the species that androids were programmed to be like were as different from humans as you could possibly get. I would not even be able to communicate with half of the species on the planet. I generally considered myself adaptable, but I could not predict how well I would adapt to a situation where I was the only human on the planet.
You are not a human, I reminded myself. That is why we have to do this. Carlee is human. It is for the best.
Suddenly Blaue materialized in my room, watching me speculatively.
"Can I help you?" I asked, turning from my desk to face her, though I did not get out of my seat.
"Tomorrow we land on the android planet," Blaue said, "and your sister just realized that. She's crying at the dinner table." I was halfway across the room before I realized it. My instinct was to go to Carlee and protect her. Perhaps programming is a better word than instinct.
I stopped when I reached the wall that Blaue had opened for me, clenching my fists at my side. "I can't go to her, can I?" I asked. "Ven doesn't want me to. This needs to be a clean cut."
"That is the preference," Blaue admitted. "He would probably prefer that I not even tell you she is crying."
"Than why did you?" I demanded, turning to face her. "It would be easier if I did not know."
"I am told that life is never easy," Blaue answered. "You are not an artificial cognizant, John. Neither is Ven your master. You don't have to obey him on everything." I frowned. Ven was Blaue's master. She should not be here trying to convince me to do something against him.
"I agree that it is in Carlee's best interest for her to go to the human colony, and that you clearly can not go there," Blaue continued. "But I disagree that leaving things in this state of tension between you and Carlee is for the best. In her mind you are her brother. She will be devastated by your departure, but I believe it would be better for her if that departure was in love and not anger.
"Think about it, John," Blaue said. "You only have twelve hours left until we land, and Ven and Carlee can not spend a long time on the surface. Would you not prefer Carlee's last memories of you to be good?" Then she disappeared, leaving me seemingly alone.
Ven was certain that among my "own kind" I would fit in, but the more research I did the less I was sure. Humans were my kind. At least, they were the kind I was programmed to be like. Some of the species that androids were programmed to be like were as different from humans as you could possibly get. I would not even be able to communicate with half of the species on the planet. I generally considered myself adaptable, but I could not predict how well I would adapt to a situation where I was the only human on the planet.
You are not a human, I reminded myself. That is why we have to do this. Carlee is human. It is for the best.
Suddenly Blaue materialized in my room, watching me speculatively.
"Can I help you?" I asked, turning from my desk to face her, though I did not get out of my seat.
"Tomorrow we land on the android planet," Blaue said, "and your sister just realized that. She's crying at the dinner table." I was halfway across the room before I realized it. My instinct was to go to Carlee and protect her. Perhaps programming is a better word than instinct.
I stopped when I reached the wall that Blaue had opened for me, clenching my fists at my side. "I can't go to her, can I?" I asked. "Ven doesn't want me to. This needs to be a clean cut."
"That is the preference," Blaue admitted. "He would probably prefer that I not even tell you she is crying."
"Than why did you?" I demanded, turning to face her. "It would be easier if I did not know."
"I am told that life is never easy," Blaue answered. "You are not an artificial cognizant, John. Neither is Ven your master. You don't have to obey him on everything." I frowned. Ven was Blaue's master. She should not be here trying to convince me to do something against him.
"I agree that it is in Carlee's best interest for her to go to the human colony, and that you clearly can not go there," Blaue continued. "But I disagree that leaving things in this state of tension between you and Carlee is for the best. In her mind you are her brother. She will be devastated by your departure, but I believe it would be better for her if that departure was in love and not anger.
"Think about it, John," Blaue said. "You only have twelve hours left until we land, and Ven and Carlee can not spend a long time on the surface. Would you not prefer Carlee's last memories of you to be good?" Then she disappeared, leaving me seemingly alone.
Entry 68
The next two weeks passed in a whirlwind of lessons. Ven brought me to Blaue's cockpit everyday and taught me something new. He let me plot simulated trajectories. He showed me which buttons did what. And he taught me some basic equations I would need to know if Blaue was out of commission. Let me tell you, that last part was a bit tricky. I could only learn some of the equations since I don't know calculus. Ven was rather shocked that I didn't know calculus. What normal sixteen-year-old girl knows calculus? I was only in the 10th grade for goodness sake, and I hadn't even finished Algebra II before I was abducted.
Basically, Ven did not give me a lot of time to think about that we were rapidly approaching our destination. In fact, he was unusually tact. He rarely mentioned our destination at all, so as to not remind me of my brother's impending departure.
But he was also keeping me separate from John. I would be lying if I said I didn't notice. My days were busy learning everything Ven could teach me (which was only a fraction of all I needed to know to captain my own ship), but in the evenings when I came to the table for dinner and didn't see John there the truth would hit me. John was leaving, and he was avoiding me during the time we had left.
I pushed my dinner around on my plate one night, across the table from Ven. Once again John had not waited for me to eat (or maybe he was going to eat after I left). I mashed the pink peas on my plate, wondering why John didn't have the decency to at least socialize with me some.
Ven was watching me with his dark eyes, his own food forgotten. If I had noticed his gaze, I would have noticed the sympathy on his face. It wasn't a feeling I usually attributed to Ven, but there it was.
"Carlee," he said softly. I looked up and was startled by the sympathy on his face. "You really should eat."
"It's just odd tasting," I responded. "I'm trying to get used to whatever this alien food you feed me is."
"Put some salt on it," Blaue said cheerily, appearing in one of the chairs. "Ven says salt makes even the most alien food tolerable."
"I already salted it," I sighed. To appease their watching eyes, I took a bite. However, Ven was still watching me.
"Tomorrow I'll make sure we get permission to eat at a real restaurant," Ven said. "Then you can eat some organically grown food."
"Are we docking with a space station tomorrow?" I asked.
"No, we're landing on the planet," Ven answered.
My fork fell to my plate with a clank. Tomorrow? We were landing on the android planet tomorrow? John was leaving me forever tomorrow?
"Carlee, are you alright?" Ven asked. I shook my head and burst into tears.
Basically, Ven did not give me a lot of time to think about that we were rapidly approaching our destination. In fact, he was unusually tact. He rarely mentioned our destination at all, so as to not remind me of my brother's impending departure.
But he was also keeping me separate from John. I would be lying if I said I didn't notice. My days were busy learning everything Ven could teach me (which was only a fraction of all I needed to know to captain my own ship), but in the evenings when I came to the table for dinner and didn't see John there the truth would hit me. John was leaving, and he was avoiding me during the time we had left.
I pushed my dinner around on my plate one night, across the table from Ven. Once again John had not waited for me to eat (or maybe he was going to eat after I left). I mashed the pink peas on my plate, wondering why John didn't have the decency to at least socialize with me some.
Ven was watching me with his dark eyes, his own food forgotten. If I had noticed his gaze, I would have noticed the sympathy on his face. It wasn't a feeling I usually attributed to Ven, but there it was.
"Carlee," he said softly. I looked up and was startled by the sympathy on his face. "You really should eat."
"It's just odd tasting," I responded. "I'm trying to get used to whatever this alien food you feed me is."
"Put some salt on it," Blaue said cheerily, appearing in one of the chairs. "Ven says salt makes even the most alien food tolerable."
"I already salted it," I sighed. To appease their watching eyes, I took a bite. However, Ven was still watching me.
"Tomorrow I'll make sure we get permission to eat at a real restaurant," Ven said. "Then you can eat some organically grown food."
"Are we docking with a space station tomorrow?" I asked.
"No, we're landing on the planet," Ven answered.
My fork fell to my plate with a clank. Tomorrow? We were landing on the android planet tomorrow? John was leaving me forever tomorrow?
"Carlee, are you alright?" Ven asked. I shook my head and burst into tears.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Entry 66
"You have a little brother too, right?" I asked. It was not every day that Ven talked about himself. He had always been sort of aloof and standoffish. I really did not know much about him other than he hated androids and loved his ship.
"Yes," Ven answered. "Rome is eighteen."
"Wait! Rome? Your sister's name is Florence and your brother's name is Rome?" Ven had to be pulling my leg. He could not be serious.
"Yes." A frown touched Ven's face. Then he motioned to the other station and said, "This console is for when..."
"Hold it," I grabbed his arm, causing him to look down at me with his frown. Even frowning he was handsome. "Your sister's name is Florence, your brother's name is Rome, and your name is Ven? Is Ven perhaps short for Venice?"
"That is not what we are here to discuss," Ven said. "Now, this console is for when the Artificial Cognizant is completely incapacitated. From this console I can control the ship manually." I was listening to Ven, I promise I was. I was listening to him babble about having to calculate trajectories by hand if the Artificial Cognizant was down, which was why captain's had to have at least a passing familiarity with orbital mechanics. I really was listening. But thinking about Ven's name actually being Venice - the name of an Italian city, just struck me as extremely funny. Ven did not have some action hero name like Vin Diesel. His name was Venice Barker.
I burst out into laughter.
"There is nothing funny about a ship being so incapacitated that it must be controlled manually," Ven said crossly.
"I know," I laughed, tears coming from my eyes because I was laughing so hard. "But your name is Venice Barker."
"And your name is Carlee Earhart," Ven responded. "Stating the obvious is certainly not funny."
"I"m sorry." I still couldn't stop laughing. "It's just that you're this big tough guy and your named after an Italian city." I tried to get my laughter under control, after all it really isn't nice to laugh at people, but I couldn't help myself. For some reason I found it extremely funny.
"Carlee, if you don't stop laughing right now I will rethink my decision to teach you how to fly and operate Blaue," Ven's tone was sharp and quickly sobered me. I knew he was serious, and I suppose I could not blame him. Undoubtedly laughter like mine was the reason why he told people his name was Ven and not Venice. I could just imagined a younger Ven getting teased by his peers.
"I'm sorry, Ven," I said. "I know its not nice to laugh at people. I didn't mean to."
"No one ever does," he said coldly. "Now, shall we continue our lesson?" I nodded.
"Yes, Ven, I would very much like to hear more about what happens when Blaue is inoperable," I answered.
"Good," he said. "This console has no view screen like the others. These little screens all display different facts but none of them have the display power of a view screen. This screen gives us an idea of our attitude - by attitude I mean orientation in space. This screen gives us an idea of our position, velocity, and acceleration with respect to our destination...." I listened quietly as Ven explained the several small screens at the station and made sure to keep down any laughter.
But Ven's real name is Venice Barker, and that is funny.
"Yes," Ven answered. "Rome is eighteen."
"Wait! Rome? Your sister's name is Florence and your brother's name is Rome?" Ven had to be pulling my leg. He could not be serious.
"Yes." A frown touched Ven's face. Then he motioned to the other station and said, "This console is for when..."
"Hold it," I grabbed his arm, causing him to look down at me with his frown. Even frowning he was handsome. "Your sister's name is Florence, your brother's name is Rome, and your name is Ven? Is Ven perhaps short for Venice?"
"That is not what we are here to discuss," Ven said. "Now, this console is for when the Artificial Cognizant is completely incapacitated. From this console I can control the ship manually." I was listening to Ven, I promise I was. I was listening to him babble about having to calculate trajectories by hand if the Artificial Cognizant was down, which was why captain's had to have at least a passing familiarity with orbital mechanics. I really was listening. But thinking about Ven's name actually being Venice - the name of an Italian city, just struck me as extremely funny. Ven did not have some action hero name like Vin Diesel. His name was Venice Barker.
I burst out into laughter.
"There is nothing funny about a ship being so incapacitated that it must be controlled manually," Ven said crossly.
"I know," I laughed, tears coming from my eyes because I was laughing so hard. "But your name is Venice Barker."
"And your name is Carlee Earhart," Ven responded. "Stating the obvious is certainly not funny."
"I"m sorry." I still couldn't stop laughing. "It's just that you're this big tough guy and your named after an Italian city." I tried to get my laughter under control, after all it really isn't nice to laugh at people, but I couldn't help myself. For some reason I found it extremely funny.
"Carlee, if you don't stop laughing right now I will rethink my decision to teach you how to fly and operate Blaue," Ven's tone was sharp and quickly sobered me. I knew he was serious, and I suppose I could not blame him. Undoubtedly laughter like mine was the reason why he told people his name was Ven and not Venice. I could just imagined a younger Ven getting teased by his peers.
"I'm sorry, Ven," I said. "I know its not nice to laugh at people. I didn't mean to."
"No one ever does," he said coldly. "Now, shall we continue our lesson?" I nodded.
"Yes, Ven, I would very much like to hear more about what happens when Blaue is inoperable," I answered.
"Good," he said. "This console has no view screen like the others. These little screens all display different facts but none of them have the display power of a view screen. This screen gives us an idea of our attitude - by attitude I mean orientation in space. This screen gives us an idea of our position, velocity, and acceleration with respect to our destination...." I listened quietly as Ven explained the several small screens at the station and made sure to keep down any laughter.
But Ven's real name is Venice Barker, and that is funny.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Entry 65
Ven moved towards the station that had a medium sized view screen and a few buttons. "This console is in case of main view screen break down or minor Artificial Cognizant problems," Ven said. "Here I can manually input trajectories. At this console I still assume that the ship's main computer is up and running and compute most parts of the trajectory. It's really not much more manual that the main console, but its excellent redundancy for when the main console fails."
"Does that happen often?" I asked, studying the varying buttons and interfaces.
"No," Ven admitted. "But occasionally Blaue needs maintenance and her more personable attributes have to be shut down. She can still compute in that mode, but she can't appear as a hologram. It's easier to handle the ship at this console that way."
"Huh, so you take her to like a ship's mechanics every once in a while?" I asked. I never realized that spaceships were like cars and would need tune ups but I guess it made sense. Spaceships probably needed their oil changed to.
"My sister, Florence, is Blaue's mechanic," Ven answered. "I would not trust anyone else with her."
"Your little sister is qualified to work on spaceships? How old is she? How did she get such a qualification?"
"She studied, that's how she got it," Ven answered. "And she's twenty, not exactly a child." I frowned, my mind whirling.
"I thought you were twenty," I said, looking up at him. He smiled in amusement.
"Thanks for the compliment," he answered. "But I'm twenty-two. My sister studied as an apprentice to another shipwright for a while, Blaue is her first real client. I would not have anyone else work on it." His smile turned fond. "Florence is the best. She's a real wizard with mechanics. And she's a good kid. She has potential to design ships one day, and if working on Blaue helps her achieve that dream I am more than willing to let her do it." I stared at Ven in surprise. In that moment Ven sounded like John talking about me. I guess I had never thought about Ven as the loving, caring older brother.
It was strange. John and Ven were very similar people. No wonder they did not get along.
"Does that happen often?" I asked, studying the varying buttons and interfaces.
"No," Ven admitted. "But occasionally Blaue needs maintenance and her more personable attributes have to be shut down. She can still compute in that mode, but she can't appear as a hologram. It's easier to handle the ship at this console that way."
"Huh, so you take her to like a ship's mechanics every once in a while?" I asked. I never realized that spaceships were like cars and would need tune ups but I guess it made sense. Spaceships probably needed their oil changed to.
"My sister, Florence, is Blaue's mechanic," Ven answered. "I would not trust anyone else with her."
"Your little sister is qualified to work on spaceships? How old is she? How did she get such a qualification?"
"She studied, that's how she got it," Ven answered. "And she's twenty, not exactly a child." I frowned, my mind whirling.
"I thought you were twenty," I said, looking up at him. He smiled in amusement.
"Thanks for the compliment," he answered. "But I'm twenty-two. My sister studied as an apprentice to another shipwright for a while, Blaue is her first real client. I would not have anyone else work on it." His smile turned fond. "Florence is the best. She's a real wizard with mechanics. And she's a good kid. She has potential to design ships one day, and if working on Blaue helps her achieve that dream I am more than willing to let her do it." I stared at Ven in surprise. In that moment Ven sounded like John talking about me. I guess I had never thought about Ven as the loving, caring older brother.
It was strange. John and Ven were very similar people. No wonder they did not get along.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Entry 64
Butterflies fluttered around my stomach as I followed Ven into the hall. I had eaten as much of breakfast as I could, considering my excitement, and I was now on my way to my first lesson on how to fly Blaue. I wondered what had made Ven change his mind about teaching me, but I was afraid to ask lest he remember an excellent reason and decide not to teach me.
Ven led me to the end of the hall I had never been to and the wall opened in front of us. It revealed a short staircase, which Ven took in stride. I followed more nervously after.
At the top of the stairs was the ship’s cockpit.
In many ways it was exactly like what I expected a cockpit to be like and in other ways it was nothing like I expected. There was a large, wall sized view screen at one side of the room, but like in Star Trek, the view screen was not a window. It was more of a computer screen that could show you whatever you wanted. It currently showed a map of the stars, a path through the stars, and a point that I assumed indicated the ship. The upper right hand corner of the screen held a list of numbers that I presumed meant something.
In front of the view screen was one chair for a sole pilot. Instead of being an austere metal contraption it was plush and blue, like a chair in a car.
To my right was another chair, but this chair was in front of a wall that held buttons, switches, and keyboards. A few small screens dotted the wall, but mainly the wall held all sorts of controls.
To my left was a third chair, which had a view screen much smaller than the original but it still took up half of the wall. Around the view screen were several other buttons and switches.
“Does Blaue require three pilots?” I asked, wondering how Ven had been managing to fly her if that was so.
“No,” Ven answered. “The ship only requires a captain and an artificial cognizant.” He motioned to the large view screen. “This is the main area I work from. Here Blaue and I decide our course, keep track of our position, and anything else we need to know. And this is not the only view the screen has.” He touched the side of the screen and immediately the screen changed to show Blaue in her entirety, and numbers around different parts of the ship. “This view helps me to know that every part of the ship is working properly. These numbers tell me the temperature of the hull, the strength of the hull, and any other facts or statistics I need to show.” He touched another point on the screen which caused the screen to change again. This time the screen showed nothing but blackness. “This is actually what’s in front of us, should I feel the need to ‘see’ out the window. Clearly, this isn’t glass. But Blaue has a visual recorder various parts of her hull and I can axis any of them from here.”
“But being a captain is fairly simple when you’re at this control point,” Ven said. “Blaue takes care of everything. She can fly herself. She needs me to make the decisions, to tell her where to go, but other than that she can take care of herself. There is not a lot of piloting involved.”
“Then why not just have ships run by artificial cognizant?” I asked. “Why have captains?” If Blaue could run cargo from one point to another by herself – if she was given the directive – why did Ven have to be there at all?
“Because things go wrong,” Ven answered simply, “and that’s what these other two sections of the cockpit are for.”
Ven led me to the end of the hall I had never been to and the wall opened in front of us. It revealed a short staircase, which Ven took in stride. I followed more nervously after.
At the top of the stairs was the ship’s cockpit.
In many ways it was exactly like what I expected a cockpit to be like and in other ways it was nothing like I expected. There was a large, wall sized view screen at one side of the room, but like in Star Trek, the view screen was not a window. It was more of a computer screen that could show you whatever you wanted. It currently showed a map of the stars, a path through the stars, and a point that I assumed indicated the ship. The upper right hand corner of the screen held a list of numbers that I presumed meant something.
In front of the view screen was one chair for a sole pilot. Instead of being an austere metal contraption it was plush and blue, like a chair in a car.
To my right was another chair, but this chair was in front of a wall that held buttons, switches, and keyboards. A few small screens dotted the wall, but mainly the wall held all sorts of controls.
To my left was a third chair, which had a view screen much smaller than the original but it still took up half of the wall. Around the view screen were several other buttons and switches.
“Does Blaue require three pilots?” I asked, wondering how Ven had been managing to fly her if that was so.
“No,” Ven answered. “The ship only requires a captain and an artificial cognizant.” He motioned to the large view screen. “This is the main area I work from. Here Blaue and I decide our course, keep track of our position, and anything else we need to know. And this is not the only view the screen has.” He touched the side of the screen and immediately the screen changed to show Blaue in her entirety, and numbers around different parts of the ship. “This view helps me to know that every part of the ship is working properly. These numbers tell me the temperature of the hull, the strength of the hull, and any other facts or statistics I need to show.” He touched another point on the screen which caused the screen to change again. This time the screen showed nothing but blackness. “This is actually what’s in front of us, should I feel the need to ‘see’ out the window. Clearly, this isn’t glass. But Blaue has a visual recorder various parts of her hull and I can axis any of them from here.”
“But being a captain is fairly simple when you’re at this control point,” Ven said. “Blaue takes care of everything. She can fly herself. She needs me to make the decisions, to tell her where to go, but other than that she can take care of herself. There is not a lot of piloting involved.”
“Then why not just have ships run by artificial cognizant?” I asked. “Why have captains?” If Blaue could run cargo from one point to another by herself – if she was given the directive – why did Ven have to be there at all?
“Because things go wrong,” Ven answered simply, “and that’s what these other two sections of the cockpit are for.”
Monday, February 22, 2010
Entry 63
I spent the rest of the night in my room, curled on my bed and generally feeling sorry for myself. John was going to leave me. I was going to be all alone. The thoughts played through my head like a broken record.
I fell asleep at some point, in my clothes, which meant that I was far from pretty when I woke up the next morning. Between the dried tears and crumpled clothes, I was a mess. However, after a hot shower I felt marvelously better, even though John was going to leave me.
Being the mature teenager that I was, I wasn’t going to allow John to see what pain he caused me, so I put a bounce in my step and a smile on my face as I went to eat breakfast.
“Carlee.” It was Ven at the breakfast table, not John. Disappointment filled me. Maybe John did not want to see me anymore, now that he was leaving me. “It’s been brought to my attention that we missed a rather important day.”
“What day?” I asked, grabbing a pseudo-muffin and taking my seat.
“Your sixteenth birthday,” Ven responded. I looked up at him in surprise.
“No, my birthday is in February,” I said, shaking my head. “It can’t be February already.”
“Well, I am unsure if we can argue that it is February in space, but it is most definitely February on Earth.” It was Blaue who spoke, materializing in the room. “I triple checked. You are sixteen years old.” Sixteen? Surely I would feel different if I really was such a marvelous age. Sixteen made me practically an adult. Sixteen was supposed to be that magical year in a girl’s life where she got a boyfriend and went to junior prom and all sorts of magical things. I wondered if the human colony had a prom.
“In honor of your birthday, I have a gift for you,” Ven said. I looked at him suspiciously. A gift from Ven? That sounded suspiciously like when the Greeks gave the Trojans a gift of a horse.
“Really,” I said. “Did you buy me something at the spacestation yesterday?”
“No,” Ven answered. “What I’m going to give you is better than anything that I could have purchased yesterday.” I gave him a flat, doubtful stare. I could think of nothing that Ven could give me that would not need to be purchased, unless he had suddenly had a complete change in personality and was going to try to help me keep John.
“I am going to give you your first flying lesson today,” Ven said.
“What!” I jumped out of my seat. “Like flying Blaue? You really mean it? You’re going to teach me to fly her?” He was right. It was better than anything he could have purchased. I had given up the hope that Ven would teach me to fly ages ago.
“I really do mean it,” Ven said with his debonair smile. “Of course, today’s lesson is very rudimentary, just the basics, but you have to start somewhere before I just hand over manual control to you.” I stared at him, unable to speak I was so surprised. Ven just laughed.
“Eat your breakfast, Carlee,” Ven said. “You need to have a good breakfast in order to retain everything I’m going to teach you.”
I fell asleep at some point, in my clothes, which meant that I was far from pretty when I woke up the next morning. Between the dried tears and crumpled clothes, I was a mess. However, after a hot shower I felt marvelously better, even though John was going to leave me.
Being the mature teenager that I was, I wasn’t going to allow John to see what pain he caused me, so I put a bounce in my step and a smile on my face as I went to eat breakfast.
“Carlee.” It was Ven at the breakfast table, not John. Disappointment filled me. Maybe John did not want to see me anymore, now that he was leaving me. “It’s been brought to my attention that we missed a rather important day.”
“What day?” I asked, grabbing a pseudo-muffin and taking my seat.
“Your sixteenth birthday,” Ven responded. I looked up at him in surprise.
“No, my birthday is in February,” I said, shaking my head. “It can’t be February already.”
“Well, I am unsure if we can argue that it is February in space, but it is most definitely February on Earth.” It was Blaue who spoke, materializing in the room. “I triple checked. You are sixteen years old.” Sixteen? Surely I would feel different if I really was such a marvelous age. Sixteen made me practically an adult. Sixteen was supposed to be that magical year in a girl’s life where she got a boyfriend and went to junior prom and all sorts of magical things. I wondered if the human colony had a prom.
“In honor of your birthday, I have a gift for you,” Ven said. I looked at him suspiciously. A gift from Ven? That sounded suspiciously like when the Greeks gave the Trojans a gift of a horse.
“Really,” I said. “Did you buy me something at the spacestation yesterday?”
“No,” Ven answered. “What I’m going to give you is better than anything that I could have purchased yesterday.” I gave him a flat, doubtful stare. I could think of nothing that Ven could give me that would not need to be purchased, unless he had suddenly had a complete change in personality and was going to try to help me keep John.
“I am going to give you your first flying lesson today,” Ven said.
“What!” I jumped out of my seat. “Like flying Blaue? You really mean it? You’re going to teach me to fly her?” He was right. It was better than anything he could have purchased. I had given up the hope that Ven would teach me to fly ages ago.
“I really do mean it,” Ven said with his debonair smile. “Of course, today’s lesson is very rudimentary, just the basics, but you have to start somewhere before I just hand over manual control to you.” I stared at him, unable to speak I was so surprised. Ven just laughed.
“Eat your breakfast, Carlee,” Ven said. “You need to have a good breakfast in order to retain everything I’m going to teach you.”
Friday, February 19, 2010
Log 5
Carlee's tirade did not take me entirely by surprise. I know my sister very well, and I know she has a temper and tends to say irrational things that she doesn't mean when she is upset. However, her words still hurt.
I wondered about that, how her words could hurt. I was merely an android. If people like Ven were right, then everything I thought and felt were nothing but built in responses from my programming. That would mean I was not really hurt. My programming was simply telling me that I should feel hurt in order to better simulate a human's feelings.
And yet, wasn't that exactly what a human's brain was? A human's brain was hardwired to think and feel certain ways by the time a human was my age. A human my age would feel hurt by Carlee's reaction because the societal programming in their brain told them they should be. Surely a brain was nothing more than a highly complex, organic computer.
The difference then had to be that human's had souls. At least, humans thought they had something called a soul that somehow made them better than all the other animals on the planet Earth. I did not think there was any "soul" circuit board within me, but humans had no "soul" organ. Perhaps I did have a soul, and I just did not know about it.
Soul or no, I felt bad about letting Carlee think Ven's plan was my plan, my desire. But I did not see anything I could do about it. Ven was right. Life would be better for Carlee without me. The only way to make Carlee leave me behind was if she thought I wanted to leave her. I could not lie to Carlee, but the truth could also be used to deceive.
I knew Carlee would want me to run after her, but instead I stayed in my quarters. As painful was this was going to be, I would have to let us separate.
"Carlee was wrong about one thing," Blaue's holographic image materialized in my room.
"Just one?" I asked.
"Well, perhaps more than one," Blaue relented. "But she called herself a fifteen year old girl. It was my impression that Carlee was born on February 16 in the Earth year of AD 1993."
"She was," I answered. I had not been there for the event, but I had been Carlee's brother most of her life. I knew her birthday.
"Well, that day on Earth passed about a week ago," Blaue said. "Carlee is sixteen now."
"I missed Carlee's birthday?" I exclaimed in disbelief. "And Christmas." My instinct was to find some way to make up for it, to through some sort of extravagant party. However, that would probably get me back into Carlee's good graces. I loved my sister too much to allow her to not be mad at me.
"Time is hard to tell when you're no longer on a planet with a set calender," Blaue responded. "Don't blame yourself. Ven should have done something for her for her birthday. I'll have to berate him."
"So I'm eighteen," I said, surprised that I could come of age - be an adult - and not even know about it. My "birthday" was in January, always a few weeks before Carlee's.
"According to your Earth birth record, yes," Blaue answered. "But you were created after Carlee's birth according to your construction record, so that actually makes you younger than her." The earlier date of my construction date did not bother me. Socially I was older than Carlee, and I was certainly more mature than her. Perhaps it was an affect of my more logical, android brain.
"If you could have Ven throw some sort of party for Carlee I would appreciate it," I said. It did bother me that Ven would get credit for the kind of brotherly duty that was normally mine. However, I had to let Carlee go. It was the best thing for her, regardless if it was the worst thing that could ever happen to me.
I wondered about that, how her words could hurt. I was merely an android. If people like Ven were right, then everything I thought and felt were nothing but built in responses from my programming. That would mean I was not really hurt. My programming was simply telling me that I should feel hurt in order to better simulate a human's feelings.
And yet, wasn't that exactly what a human's brain was? A human's brain was hardwired to think and feel certain ways by the time a human was my age. A human my age would feel hurt by Carlee's reaction because the societal programming in their brain told them they should be. Surely a brain was nothing more than a highly complex, organic computer.
The difference then had to be that human's had souls. At least, humans thought they had something called a soul that somehow made them better than all the other animals on the planet Earth. I did not think there was any "soul" circuit board within me, but humans had no "soul" organ. Perhaps I did have a soul, and I just did not know about it.
Soul or no, I felt bad about letting Carlee think Ven's plan was my plan, my desire. But I did not see anything I could do about it. Ven was right. Life would be better for Carlee without me. The only way to make Carlee leave me behind was if she thought I wanted to leave her. I could not lie to Carlee, but the truth could also be used to deceive.
I knew Carlee would want me to run after her, but instead I stayed in my quarters. As painful was this was going to be, I would have to let us separate.
"Carlee was wrong about one thing," Blaue's holographic image materialized in my room.
"Just one?" I asked.
"Well, perhaps more than one," Blaue relented. "But she called herself a fifteen year old girl. It was my impression that Carlee was born on February 16 in the Earth year of AD 1993."
"She was," I answered. I had not been there for the event, but I had been Carlee's brother most of her life. I knew her birthday.
"Well, that day on Earth passed about a week ago," Blaue said. "Carlee is sixteen now."
"I missed Carlee's birthday?" I exclaimed in disbelief. "And Christmas." My instinct was to find some way to make up for it, to through some sort of extravagant party. However, that would probably get me back into Carlee's good graces. I loved my sister too much to allow her to not be mad at me.
"Time is hard to tell when you're no longer on a planet with a set calender," Blaue responded. "Don't blame yourself. Ven should have done something for her for her birthday. I'll have to berate him."
"So I'm eighteen," I said, surprised that I could come of age - be an adult - and not even know about it. My "birthday" was in January, always a few weeks before Carlee's.
"According to your Earth birth record, yes," Blaue answered. "But you were created after Carlee's birth according to your construction record, so that actually makes you younger than her." The earlier date of my construction date did not bother me. Socially I was older than Carlee, and I was certainly more mature than her. Perhaps it was an affect of my more logical, android brain.
"If you could have Ven throw some sort of party for Carlee I would appreciate it," I said. It did bother me that Ven would get credit for the kind of brotherly duty that was normally mine. However, I had to let Carlee go. It was the best thing for her, regardless if it was the worst thing that could ever happen to me.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Entry 62
I could not take Ven's word for it. Ven hated John, and he would say anything to make me leave John behind. So I raced across the hall to John's room and demanded he let Blaue open the door for me.
"Can I help you, Carlee?" John was sitting at his desk, studying a screen.
"Yes," I said. "Ven says we're going to the android planet, that we're going to leave you there and then send me tot he human colony without you." I watched John, waiting for the surprise and outrage at Ven's audacity. Instead, John calmly met my gaze.
"That is the plan," he said. "Don't be upset, Carlee."
"Don't be upset, Carlee?" My voice rose several octaves. "You and Ven have hatched a plan about my future without consulting me and all you can say is 'Don't be upset, Carlee'?" My anger seemed to be having no affect on my calm brother, which only made me more angry.
"I know you don't like it," John said, "But its for your own good..."
"Because I, a fifteen year old girl, can have no idea what is for my own good, so I can't be trusted to make plans," I said harshly. "But a seventeen year old and a twenty something year old do? Is there some special wisdom that is granted when you turn seventeen that I as a mere fifteen year old can't grasp?" John did not say anything, letting me rant. His silence fueled my anger.
"Or maybe its in your best interest," I continued. "Maybe its just what you want - to get rid of you annoying little sister. Finally you have an excuse to dump me. You don't have to worry about taking care of me, worrying about me, dragging me along. You can be free of this old ball and chain!" Why wasn't he saying anything, my heart cried. Why was he not denying my words? John should have been stopping me, assuring me that he never wanted to get rid of me, that he loved him.
"Well the joke's on you, John." Tears filled my eyes. "Because I don't need you. If you want to go live with your android friends, then do it. I won't stop you." I then turned and fled from the room.
Once in my room I burst into tears. I had not meant the last thing I said. I did need John. I could not imagine my life without him. Without John I had no family.
As I cried I expected John would come running in at any moment, to reassure me that it was all lies and he would never leave me. But John did not come. My tears dried and still he did not come.
I was all alone and afraid I would be for the rest of my life.
"Can I help you, Carlee?" John was sitting at his desk, studying a screen.
"Yes," I said. "Ven says we're going to the android planet, that we're going to leave you there and then send me tot he human colony without you." I watched John, waiting for the surprise and outrage at Ven's audacity. Instead, John calmly met my gaze.
"That is the plan," he said. "Don't be upset, Carlee."
"Don't be upset, Carlee?" My voice rose several octaves. "You and Ven have hatched a plan about my future without consulting me and all you can say is 'Don't be upset, Carlee'?" My anger seemed to be having no affect on my calm brother, which only made me more angry.
"I know you don't like it," John said, "But its for your own good..."
"Because I, a fifteen year old girl, can have no idea what is for my own good, so I can't be trusted to make plans," I said harshly. "But a seventeen year old and a twenty something year old do? Is there some special wisdom that is granted when you turn seventeen that I as a mere fifteen year old can't grasp?" John did not say anything, letting me rant. His silence fueled my anger.
"Or maybe its in your best interest," I continued. "Maybe its just what you want - to get rid of you annoying little sister. Finally you have an excuse to dump me. You don't have to worry about taking care of me, worrying about me, dragging me along. You can be free of this old ball and chain!" Why wasn't he saying anything, my heart cried. Why was he not denying my words? John should have been stopping me, assuring me that he never wanted to get rid of me, that he loved him.
"Well the joke's on you, John." Tears filled my eyes. "Because I don't need you. If you want to go live with your android friends, then do it. I won't stop you." I then turned and fled from the room.
Once in my room I burst into tears. I had not meant the last thing I said. I did need John. I could not imagine my life without him. Without John I had no family.
As I cried I expected John would come running in at any moment, to reassure me that it was all lies and he would never leave me. But John did not come. My tears dried and still he did not come.
I was all alone and afraid I would be for the rest of my life.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Entry 61
The moment John’s wall opened I jumped to my feet, tossing my book aside. I saw Ven exit the room and I quickly called after him, “Ven!”
Ven turned, his darkly handsome eyes falling on me. “Good afternoon, Carlee,” he said. “Can I be of assistance?”
“Can I talk to you real quick?” I asked. Ven nodded and came into my room. He noticed the book I had tossed aside, laying hazardously on the floor, and amusement touched his eyes. I bristled. I did not like it when people found me amusing.
“Ven, how long are you going to keep us cooped up on this ship?” I demanded, crossing my arms and glaring up at him. “This is no place to keep a growing fifteen-year-old girl.”
“I know,” Ven answered to my surprise, “but you won’t be on the ship much longer. This next leg of our trip will be about two weeks, then we’ll stay on the planet for a while, and then it will be about a month to the human colony. Does that satisfy you, Carlee?” All of my speeches and arguments to convince Ven that we needed to go to the human colony fled my mind.
“You’re taking us to the human colony?” I asked.
“Yes,” Ven nodded. “I’ve already called ahead with our time table. They should be preparing for your arrival, finding a host family for you to live with. You are just a fifteen-year-old girl, Carlee. You can’t live by yourself.” I had expected that. John and I were just minors, and basically foreigners. We had no idea how the human colony worked. It would make sense if we had to live with a host family for a little while until we were old enough and acquainted with our new situation.
“What planet are we visiting first?” I asked, not letting go of my suspicion entirely. “Why can’t we go straight to the human colony?”
“By request of your android, we’re going to the android planet first,” Ven said. “After today’s events, it realizes that it will only hold you back in life, Carlee. On the android planet, it could pretend it was a true person and be treated as an equal.” I stared at Ven in disbelief.
“Are you saying that John wants to live on the android planet and then ship me off to the human colony?” I asked. “That he wants to be separated from me.”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying,” Ven answered. “It realizes that your best chance of life is on the human colony, where it is not allowed. It only wants what is best for you, Carlee, and this is what is best.”
“And I don’t suppose organics are allowed on the android planet?” I asked, though I doubted it would be called an “android planet” if that was true.
“Only for short visits,” Ven said. “I have procured Visas for you and me so we can visit with your android initially. But then we will leave and your android will stay behind.”
“This was your idea,” I accused him. “John doesn’t want this at all. He wouldn’t want to leave me.” Surely John could not want to leave me. If he really was as computerized as Ven thought, then surely his programming would not allow him to leave me. If he was as human as I thought, he would not want to leave his dear little sister.
Unless it was in my best interest. If John thought this was all in my best interest, then he might be seriously considering leaving me behind.
“Carlee, your android is a smart, well programmed machine,” Ven said. Though it felt as if the words were being dragged painfully out of him, Ven’s eyes were sympathetic. “It may not want to leave you, but it knows it must. It is the only way.” He paused. “As I said it will take us at least two weeks to get there. Enjoy those two weeks with your android.
Ven turned, his darkly handsome eyes falling on me. “Good afternoon, Carlee,” he said. “Can I be of assistance?”
“Can I talk to you real quick?” I asked. Ven nodded and came into my room. He noticed the book I had tossed aside, laying hazardously on the floor, and amusement touched his eyes. I bristled. I did not like it when people found me amusing.
“Ven, how long are you going to keep us cooped up on this ship?” I demanded, crossing my arms and glaring up at him. “This is no place to keep a growing fifteen-year-old girl.”
“I know,” Ven answered to my surprise, “but you won’t be on the ship much longer. This next leg of our trip will be about two weeks, then we’ll stay on the planet for a while, and then it will be about a month to the human colony. Does that satisfy you, Carlee?” All of my speeches and arguments to convince Ven that we needed to go to the human colony fled my mind.
“You’re taking us to the human colony?” I asked.
“Yes,” Ven nodded. “I’ve already called ahead with our time table. They should be preparing for your arrival, finding a host family for you to live with. You are just a fifteen-year-old girl, Carlee. You can’t live by yourself.” I had expected that. John and I were just minors, and basically foreigners. We had no idea how the human colony worked. It would make sense if we had to live with a host family for a little while until we were old enough and acquainted with our new situation.
“What planet are we visiting first?” I asked, not letting go of my suspicion entirely. “Why can’t we go straight to the human colony?”
“By request of your android, we’re going to the android planet first,” Ven said. “After today’s events, it realizes that it will only hold you back in life, Carlee. On the android planet, it could pretend it was a true person and be treated as an equal.” I stared at Ven in disbelief.
“Are you saying that John wants to live on the android planet and then ship me off to the human colony?” I asked. “That he wants to be separated from me.”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying,” Ven answered. “It realizes that your best chance of life is on the human colony, where it is not allowed. It only wants what is best for you, Carlee, and this is what is best.”
“And I don’t suppose organics are allowed on the android planet?” I asked, though I doubted it would be called an “android planet” if that was true.
“Only for short visits,” Ven said. “I have procured Visas for you and me so we can visit with your android initially. But then we will leave and your android will stay behind.”
“This was your idea,” I accused him. “John doesn’t want this at all. He wouldn’t want to leave me.” Surely John could not want to leave me. If he really was as computerized as Ven thought, then surely his programming would not allow him to leave me. If he was as human as I thought, he would not want to leave his dear little sister.
Unless it was in my best interest. If John thought this was all in my best interest, then he might be seriously considering leaving me behind.
“Carlee, your android is a smart, well programmed machine,” Ven said. Though it felt as if the words were being dragged painfully out of him, Ven’s eyes were sympathetic. “It may not want to leave you, but it knows it must. It is the only way.” He paused. “As I said it will take us at least two weeks to get there. Enjoy those two weeks with your android.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Entry 60
When John left me to go to his room, I went to my own room, but I requested Blaue leave my wall open. I was waiting for Ven to leave the cockpit so I could talk to him. I needed to convince him it was time we headed for the human colony, with John.
I understood why John had wanted some alone time, but I was not sure it was for the best. He certainly did not need more time to brood, but I gave him the benefit of a doubt that he was taking a nap instead.
Except John had never been much of a napper. Probably because androids needed less sleep than humans or some such nonsense.
I saw Ven in the hall, so I jumped to my feet, racing to my doorway. However, before I could call to him, he stepped through the wall, into the room that John was using.
I stood in the doorway, thunderstruck. Had Ven just gone into John’s room? As if to talk to John? Surely I was mistaken. Surely that was not possible. Why would Ven want to talk to John? Ven did not even think John was a real person. It simply did not make sense.
“Blaue, why is Ven in John’s room?” I asked. Blaue materialized in my room with her usual smile.
“I believe that is between John and Ven,” she said lightly. “Undoubtedly guy talk, however. You know boys. They’re worse gossips then any girl.”
“Ven and John? Gossiping?” I asked incredulously.
“You’re right. Who am I kidding?” Blaue laughed. Then she sobered. “But I wouldn’t worry about it. Ven would not hurt John. He’s not big into the destruction of personal property, and John is your personal property at the very least.” I snorted. John my property? Unlikely. John rarely ever listened to me. Property was something you controlled. No one controlled John, least of all me.
“Can you let Ven know I want to talk to him when he’s done with John?” I asked Blaue.
“I can, but I can’t guarantee he’ll listen,” Blaue responded.
“That’s all I can ask for,” I responded. After all, boys rarely do listen. “I guess I’ll read until Ven shows up then.” A few moments later Blaue was gone and I was sprawled on the floor, with a book in my hand and an eye on the doorway. (I’m not really sure that “doorway” is the appropriate term, but I can’t really think of anything better to call it).
I found it very hard to concentrate on the book. What could Ven and John possibly be talking about? And for so long? Why would Ven deem to lower himself to converse with John? Would John remain civil? John usually was polite but he had been in such a brooding mood – a mood Ven was half the cause of. What would happen if John lost his temper at Ven?
John and I were in a precarious position, at the mercy of a captain who hated androids In a universe we could not begin to understand. We had no money, no job, and no hope without Ven. We needed him.
I hated needing Ven. Don’t get me wrong. I think Ven is too good looking for his own good, and he’s definitely got a debonair Han Solo thing going for him. But Ven wasn’t my family. Ven was someone that I really barely knew, someone that we were just a “mission” too. John and I needed to learn to become self sufficient. We needed to find our place in the grand universe. We needed to be able to support ourselves.
On the human colony I was sure we could manage this. John would be eighteen soon, surely that was still considered adulthood. He could find some sort of job on the human colony. I could find a job as well. If I was forced to finish school, then I would simply work after school. Between the two of us, I was sure we could manage to survive without Ven’s help.
I did not know that Ven and John were changing our plans as I was thinking, or that for some strange reason, the Barker family would become inexplicably tied to my own.
I understood why John had wanted some alone time, but I was not sure it was for the best. He certainly did not need more time to brood, but I gave him the benefit of a doubt that he was taking a nap instead.
Except John had never been much of a napper. Probably because androids needed less sleep than humans or some such nonsense.
I saw Ven in the hall, so I jumped to my feet, racing to my doorway. However, before I could call to him, he stepped through the wall, into the room that John was using.
I stood in the doorway, thunderstruck. Had Ven just gone into John’s room? As if to talk to John? Surely I was mistaken. Surely that was not possible. Why would Ven want to talk to John? Ven did not even think John was a real person. It simply did not make sense.
“Blaue, why is Ven in John’s room?” I asked. Blaue materialized in my room with her usual smile.
“I believe that is between John and Ven,” she said lightly. “Undoubtedly guy talk, however. You know boys. They’re worse gossips then any girl.”
“Ven and John? Gossiping?” I asked incredulously.
“You’re right. Who am I kidding?” Blaue laughed. Then she sobered. “But I wouldn’t worry about it. Ven would not hurt John. He’s not big into the destruction of personal property, and John is your personal property at the very least.” I snorted. John my property? Unlikely. John rarely ever listened to me. Property was something you controlled. No one controlled John, least of all me.
“Can you let Ven know I want to talk to him when he’s done with John?” I asked Blaue.
“I can, but I can’t guarantee he’ll listen,” Blaue responded.
“That’s all I can ask for,” I responded. After all, boys rarely do listen. “I guess I’ll read until Ven shows up then.” A few moments later Blaue was gone and I was sprawled on the floor, with a book in my hand and an eye on the doorway. (I’m not really sure that “doorway” is the appropriate term, but I can’t really think of anything better to call it).
I found it very hard to concentrate on the book. What could Ven and John possibly be talking about? And for so long? Why would Ven deem to lower himself to converse with John? Would John remain civil? John usually was polite but he had been in such a brooding mood – a mood Ven was half the cause of. What would happen if John lost his temper at Ven?
John and I were in a precarious position, at the mercy of a captain who hated androids In a universe we could not begin to understand. We had no money, no job, and no hope without Ven. We needed him.
I hated needing Ven. Don’t get me wrong. I think Ven is too good looking for his own good, and he’s definitely got a debonair Han Solo thing going for him. But Ven wasn’t my family. Ven was someone that I really barely knew, someone that we were just a “mission” too. John and I needed to learn to become self sufficient. We needed to find our place in the grand universe. We needed to be able to support ourselves.
On the human colony I was sure we could manage this. John would be eighteen soon, surely that was still considered adulthood. He could find some sort of job on the human colony. I could find a job as well. If I was forced to finish school, then I would simply work after school. Between the two of us, I was sure we could manage to survive without Ven’s help.
I did not know that Ven and John were changing our plans as I was thinking, or that for some strange reason, the Barker family would become inexplicably tied to my own.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Log 4
“Good,” Ven said, rising to his feet. “Now that we have that settled…”
“Wait,” I said, getting up. “Can I ask you something?” Ven nodded. “Why did you have Blaue order two lunches for us and have them set to this ship? I’m not Carlee. I don’t believe you felt sympathy for me.”
“Not you, Carlee,” Ven answered. “I probably shouldn’t have. She’ll never learn her lesson if I do little things like that to make you feel human.” I stared at Ven, understanding dawning.
“Blaue knew beforehand that the restaurant would not serve me,” I said.
“Of course she did,” Ven said. “Blaue is a computer. She doesn’t overlook things or forget things." My non-organic heart sank. It was the first time I realized Blaue could and would lie if Ven directed her. I should have realized it sooner. She was Ven’s ship. She would do whatever he asked. She was just a computer, not a human like she seemed.
I felt sad for Carlee. Blaue had become her only friend, but she was a friend Carlee could not trust. It was yet another reason Carlee needed to live on the human colony. She needed human friends.
“So you arranged for us to go to the restaurant, where you knew we would be rejected,” I said.
“Carlee needs to realize you are not human,” Ven said. “The more things like that which happen, the more she will realize you are not human. You are not her brother. You cannot be a family. She must leave you behind.” I felt anger rise in me at his clear declaration of my inhumanity. But then I remembered I wasn’t human. I was just an android.
For a moment we stood in silence, Ven’s dark eyes watching me.
“I realize this is taxing for your programming,” Ven said. It was as if the words were being dragged out of him. It was undoubtedly hard for him to even come close to admitting that an android had anything close to feelings. “Carlee has been your purpose for existence, and I used you this afternoon in a manner that seemed to hurt her. But as I’m sure you’ve done in the past, I had to hurt Carlee now to help her life be better in the future. Leaving you behind will hurt Carlee for a little while, but it will be better for her in the future.”
“I know,” I said softly. “I am not purposefully being shortsighted. Neither is Carlee. You have to understand Ven, that she cannot imagine a future without me.”
“And we have to change that,” Ven said. Then he turned. The wall opened before him and he left.
“Blaue,” I said aloud. She projected her hologram in my room, her eyes watching me warily. “You lied to Carlee and me.” It was not an accusation, just a fact.
“Undoubtedly you have lied to people before,” Blaue answered. “We do what is best for our masters, John. I do what is best for Ven; you do what is best for Carlee. Ven thinks it’s best for Carlee that she realize you are an android, and I don’t think it hurts if this afternoon’s events make her think better of Ven.” She paused. “Ven is a good man and he deserves to be thought well of, regardless of his feelings concerning androids.”
“You’re partial,” I said. “And you’re right, I am partial to Carlee, which is why I’m concerned that she is trusting you too much. She’s putting too much confidence in you, when one day you might betray her if it makes life better for Ven.”
“Isn’t that what humans do for the one’s they love?” Blaue asked. “You betray someone you love less to better the life of the one you love the most.” I hesitated, unable to argue against her point. I was after all, a student of humanity.
“I hope you are not too upset with me,” Blaue said. “But you would have done the same thing if our roles were reversed.” Once again, I could not argue with her. I would do anything for Carlee, just as Blaue would do anything for Ven.
“Wait,” I said, getting up. “Can I ask you something?” Ven nodded. “Why did you have Blaue order two lunches for us and have them set to this ship? I’m not Carlee. I don’t believe you felt sympathy for me.”
“Not you, Carlee,” Ven answered. “I probably shouldn’t have. She’ll never learn her lesson if I do little things like that to make you feel human.” I stared at Ven, understanding dawning.
“Blaue knew beforehand that the restaurant would not serve me,” I said.
“Of course she did,” Ven said. “Blaue is a computer. She doesn’t overlook things or forget things." My non-organic heart sank. It was the first time I realized Blaue could and would lie if Ven directed her. I should have realized it sooner. She was Ven’s ship. She would do whatever he asked. She was just a computer, not a human like she seemed.
I felt sad for Carlee. Blaue had become her only friend, but she was a friend Carlee could not trust. It was yet another reason Carlee needed to live on the human colony. She needed human friends.
“So you arranged for us to go to the restaurant, where you knew we would be rejected,” I said.
“Carlee needs to realize you are not human,” Ven said. “The more things like that which happen, the more she will realize you are not human. You are not her brother. You cannot be a family. She must leave you behind.” I felt anger rise in me at his clear declaration of my inhumanity. But then I remembered I wasn’t human. I was just an android.
For a moment we stood in silence, Ven’s dark eyes watching me.
“I realize this is taxing for your programming,” Ven said. It was as if the words were being dragged out of him. It was undoubtedly hard for him to even come close to admitting that an android had anything close to feelings. “Carlee has been your purpose for existence, and I used you this afternoon in a manner that seemed to hurt her. But as I’m sure you’ve done in the past, I had to hurt Carlee now to help her life be better in the future. Leaving you behind will hurt Carlee for a little while, but it will be better for her in the future.”
“I know,” I said softly. “I am not purposefully being shortsighted. Neither is Carlee. You have to understand Ven, that she cannot imagine a future without me.”
“And we have to change that,” Ven said. Then he turned. The wall opened before him and he left.
“Blaue,” I said aloud. She projected her hologram in my room, her eyes watching me warily. “You lied to Carlee and me.” It was not an accusation, just a fact.
“Undoubtedly you have lied to people before,” Blaue answered. “We do what is best for our masters, John. I do what is best for Ven; you do what is best for Carlee. Ven thinks it’s best for Carlee that she realize you are an android, and I don’t think it hurts if this afternoon’s events make her think better of Ven.” She paused. “Ven is a good man and he deserves to be thought well of, regardless of his feelings concerning androids.”
“You’re partial,” I said. “And you’re right, I am partial to Carlee, which is why I’m concerned that she is trusting you too much. She’s putting too much confidence in you, when one day you might betray her if it makes life better for Ven.”
“Isn’t that what humans do for the one’s they love?” Blaue asked. “You betray someone you love less to better the life of the one you love the most.” I hesitated, unable to argue against her point. I was after all, a student of humanity.
“I hope you are not too upset with me,” Blaue said. “But you would have done the same thing if our roles were reversed.” Once again, I could not argue with her. I would do anything for Carlee, just as Blaue would do anything for Ven.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Log 3
"I've been in communication with both my employers and the human colony," Ven said. "It has been made very clear that you will never be allowed to step foot on the human colony." I listened silently, though I was fairly certain I knew where this was going.
"Carlee is fifteen years old in Earth years," Ven continued. "The human colony is her only real chance to finish growing up in a normal environment and the only place she can truly settle down one day. But she can't do that with you."
"I can't make her give me up," I said softly. "I tried to make her leave me behind at the Society's headquarters. She refused. I can't make Carlee do anything." Though I often wished I could.
"Carlee is a very stubborn girl," Ven admitted, "and I'm beginning to understand that she won't consider simply leaving you, which is why we've come up with an alternate solution." I frowned, unsure what he meant. "What do you suppose Carlee would do if she thought you could have a better life without her?"
"I cannot lie to her," I responded, "so I have no idea how we could convince her of that."
"We could convince her if it was true," Ven said. "There is a way both of you would be better off without the other." I frowned dubiously.
"Go on," I said. I doubted there was a way I could be better off without Carlee. My central programing revolved around her. However, if it would make Carlee's life better I would consider it.
"There is a planet where androids live with no master," Ven explained. "I have gained visas for myself and Carlee to visit - they don't usually allow non-androids. We will take you there and visit for a few days. I am confident you will find acceptance among your type and Carlee will realize it is your only chance at a normal life." He said the last words as if it was impossible for an android to have a normal life.
"And then Carlee will leave me on the planet and pursue her own normal life without me on the human colony," I finished for him.
"Yes," he answered. "It's the best thing for both of you, but more importantly it is the best thing for Carlee. It will ease her conscious concerning your well being and she will be able to move on as a normal human."
I was silent for a moment, my cybernetic brain processing his words and all the scenarios that could be the outcome. Unlike Ven, I could account for Carlee's affection for me, and I doubted things would go as he planned. But that did not mean we should not try.
"We will attempt it," I responded, "but I make no guarantees that it will work. You underestimate her attachment to me. How important I am to her."
"Yes, it is a mistake I have made often," Ven admitted. "but you remember not to let your programming for her to get in the way. It is for her well being you two must be separated."
"Her well being is my highest priority," I answered.
"Carlee is fifteen years old in Earth years," Ven continued. "The human colony is her only real chance to finish growing up in a normal environment and the only place she can truly settle down one day. But she can't do that with you."
"I can't make her give me up," I said softly. "I tried to make her leave me behind at the Society's headquarters. She refused. I can't make Carlee do anything." Though I often wished I could.
"Carlee is a very stubborn girl," Ven admitted, "and I'm beginning to understand that she won't consider simply leaving you, which is why we've come up with an alternate solution." I frowned, unsure what he meant. "What do you suppose Carlee would do if she thought you could have a better life without her?"
"I cannot lie to her," I responded, "so I have no idea how we could convince her of that."
"We could convince her if it was true," Ven said. "There is a way both of you would be better off without the other." I frowned dubiously.
"Go on," I said. I doubted there was a way I could be better off without Carlee. My central programing revolved around her. However, if it would make Carlee's life better I would consider it.
"There is a planet where androids live with no master," Ven explained. "I have gained visas for myself and Carlee to visit - they don't usually allow non-androids. We will take you there and visit for a few days. I am confident you will find acceptance among your type and Carlee will realize it is your only chance at a normal life." He said the last words as if it was impossible for an android to have a normal life.
"And then Carlee will leave me on the planet and pursue her own normal life without me on the human colony," I finished for him.
"Yes," he answered. "It's the best thing for both of you, but more importantly it is the best thing for Carlee. It will ease her conscious concerning your well being and she will be able to move on as a normal human."
I was silent for a moment, my cybernetic brain processing his words and all the scenarios that could be the outcome. Unlike Ven, I could account for Carlee's affection for me, and I doubted things would go as he planned. But that did not mean we should not try.
"We will attempt it," I responded, "but I make no guarantees that it will work. You underestimate her attachment to me. How important I am to her."
"Yes, it is a mistake I have made often," Ven admitted. "but you remember not to let your programming for her to get in the way. It is for her well being you two must be separated."
"Her well being is my highest priority," I answered.
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