Butterflies fluttered around my stomach as I followed Ven into the hall. I had eaten as much of breakfast as I could, considering my excitement, and I was now on my way to my first lesson on how to fly Blaue. I wondered what had made Ven change his mind about teaching me, but I was afraid to ask lest he remember an excellent reason and decide not to teach me.
Ven led me to the end of the hall I had never been to and the wall opened in front of us. It revealed a short staircase, which Ven took in stride. I followed more nervously after.
At the top of the stairs was the ship’s cockpit.
In many ways it was exactly like what I expected a cockpit to be like and in other ways it was nothing like I expected. There was a large, wall sized view screen at one side of the room, but like in Star Trek, the view screen was not a window. It was more of a computer screen that could show you whatever you wanted. It currently showed a map of the stars, a path through the stars, and a point that I assumed indicated the ship. The upper right hand corner of the screen held a list of numbers that I presumed meant something.
In front of the view screen was one chair for a sole pilot. Instead of being an austere metal contraption it was plush and blue, like a chair in a car.
To my right was another chair, but this chair was in front of a wall that held buttons, switches, and keyboards. A few small screens dotted the wall, but mainly the wall held all sorts of controls.
To my left was a third chair, which had a view screen much smaller than the original but it still took up half of the wall. Around the view screen were several other buttons and switches.
“Does Blaue require three pilots?” I asked, wondering how Ven had been managing to fly her if that was so.
“No,” Ven answered. “The ship only requires a captain and an artificial cognizant.” He motioned to the large view screen. “This is the main area I work from. Here Blaue and I decide our course, keep track of our position, and anything else we need to know. And this is not the only view the screen has.” He touched the side of the screen and immediately the screen changed to show Blaue in her entirety, and numbers around different parts of the ship. “This view helps me to know that every part of the ship is working properly. These numbers tell me the temperature of the hull, the strength of the hull, and any other facts or statistics I need to show.” He touched another point on the screen which caused the screen to change again. This time the screen showed nothing but blackness. “This is actually what’s in front of us, should I feel the need to ‘see’ out the window. Clearly, this isn’t glass. But Blaue has a visual recorder various parts of her hull and I can axis any of them from here.”
“But being a captain is fairly simple when you’re at this control point,” Ven said. “Blaue takes care of everything. She can fly herself. She needs me to make the decisions, to tell her where to go, but other than that she can take care of herself. There is not a lot of piloting involved.”
“Then why not just have ships run by artificial cognizant?” I asked. “Why have captains?” If Blaue could run cargo from one point to another by herself – if she was given the directive – why did Ven have to be there at all?
“Because things go wrong,” Ven answered simply, “and that’s what these other two sections of the cockpit are for.”
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
Entry 63
I spent the rest of the night in my room, curled on my bed and generally feeling sorry for myself. John was going to leave me. I was going to be all alone. The thoughts played through my head like a broken record.
I fell asleep at some point, in my clothes, which meant that I was far from pretty when I woke up the next morning. Between the dried tears and crumpled clothes, I was a mess. However, after a hot shower I felt marvelously better, even though John was going to leave me.
Being the mature teenager that I was, I wasn’t going to allow John to see what pain he caused me, so I put a bounce in my step and a smile on my face as I went to eat breakfast.
“Carlee.” It was Ven at the breakfast table, not John. Disappointment filled me. Maybe John did not want to see me anymore, now that he was leaving me. “It’s been brought to my attention that we missed a rather important day.”
“What day?” I asked, grabbing a pseudo-muffin and taking my seat.
“Your sixteenth birthday,” Ven responded. I looked up at him in surprise.
“No, my birthday is in February,” I said, shaking my head. “It can’t be February already.”
“Well, I am unsure if we can argue that it is February in space, but it is most definitely February on Earth.” It was Blaue who spoke, materializing in the room. “I triple checked. You are sixteen years old.” Sixteen? Surely I would feel different if I really was such a marvelous age. Sixteen made me practically an adult. Sixteen was supposed to be that magical year in a girl’s life where she got a boyfriend and went to junior prom and all sorts of magical things. I wondered if the human colony had a prom.
“In honor of your birthday, I have a gift for you,” Ven said. I looked at him suspiciously. A gift from Ven? That sounded suspiciously like when the Greeks gave the Trojans a gift of a horse.
“Really,” I said. “Did you buy me something at the spacestation yesterday?”
“No,” Ven answered. “What I’m going to give you is better than anything that I could have purchased yesterday.” I gave him a flat, doubtful stare. I could think of nothing that Ven could give me that would not need to be purchased, unless he had suddenly had a complete change in personality and was going to try to help me keep John.
“I am going to give you your first flying lesson today,” Ven said.
“What!” I jumped out of my seat. “Like flying Blaue? You really mean it? You’re going to teach me to fly her?” He was right. It was better than anything he could have purchased. I had given up the hope that Ven would teach me to fly ages ago.
“I really do mean it,” Ven said with his debonair smile. “Of course, today’s lesson is very rudimentary, just the basics, but you have to start somewhere before I just hand over manual control to you.” I stared at him, unable to speak I was so surprised. Ven just laughed.
“Eat your breakfast, Carlee,” Ven said. “You need to have a good breakfast in order to retain everything I’m going to teach you.”
I fell asleep at some point, in my clothes, which meant that I was far from pretty when I woke up the next morning. Between the dried tears and crumpled clothes, I was a mess. However, after a hot shower I felt marvelously better, even though John was going to leave me.
Being the mature teenager that I was, I wasn’t going to allow John to see what pain he caused me, so I put a bounce in my step and a smile on my face as I went to eat breakfast.
“Carlee.” It was Ven at the breakfast table, not John. Disappointment filled me. Maybe John did not want to see me anymore, now that he was leaving me. “It’s been brought to my attention that we missed a rather important day.”
“What day?” I asked, grabbing a pseudo-muffin and taking my seat.
“Your sixteenth birthday,” Ven responded. I looked up at him in surprise.
“No, my birthday is in February,” I said, shaking my head. “It can’t be February already.”
“Well, I am unsure if we can argue that it is February in space, but it is most definitely February on Earth.” It was Blaue who spoke, materializing in the room. “I triple checked. You are sixteen years old.” Sixteen? Surely I would feel different if I really was such a marvelous age. Sixteen made me practically an adult. Sixteen was supposed to be that magical year in a girl’s life where she got a boyfriend and went to junior prom and all sorts of magical things. I wondered if the human colony had a prom.
“In honor of your birthday, I have a gift for you,” Ven said. I looked at him suspiciously. A gift from Ven? That sounded suspiciously like when the Greeks gave the Trojans a gift of a horse.
“Really,” I said. “Did you buy me something at the spacestation yesterday?”
“No,” Ven answered. “What I’m going to give you is better than anything that I could have purchased yesterday.” I gave him a flat, doubtful stare. I could think of nothing that Ven could give me that would not need to be purchased, unless he had suddenly had a complete change in personality and was going to try to help me keep John.
“I am going to give you your first flying lesson today,” Ven said.
“What!” I jumped out of my seat. “Like flying Blaue? You really mean it? You’re going to teach me to fly her?” He was right. It was better than anything he could have purchased. I had given up the hope that Ven would teach me to fly ages ago.
“I really do mean it,” Ven said with his debonair smile. “Of course, today’s lesson is very rudimentary, just the basics, but you have to start somewhere before I just hand over manual control to you.” I stared at him, unable to speak I was so surprised. Ven just laughed.
“Eat your breakfast, Carlee,” Ven said. “You need to have a good breakfast in order to retain everything I’m going to teach you.”
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Question Break 10
I think that every two weeks is a good time to have a question break since we only update on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays now. So are there any burning questions out there? Or maybe just curious questions? Let us know and we'll do our best to answer them!
Friday, February 19, 2010
Log 5
Carlee's tirade did not take me entirely by surprise. I know my sister very well, and I know she has a temper and tends to say irrational things that she doesn't mean when she is upset. However, her words still hurt.
I wondered about that, how her words could hurt. I was merely an android. If people like Ven were right, then everything I thought and felt were nothing but built in responses from my programming. That would mean I was not really hurt. My programming was simply telling me that I should feel hurt in order to better simulate a human's feelings.
And yet, wasn't that exactly what a human's brain was? A human's brain was hardwired to think and feel certain ways by the time a human was my age. A human my age would feel hurt by Carlee's reaction because the societal programming in their brain told them they should be. Surely a brain was nothing more than a highly complex, organic computer.
The difference then had to be that human's had souls. At least, humans thought they had something called a soul that somehow made them better than all the other animals on the planet Earth. I did not think there was any "soul" circuit board within me, but humans had no "soul" organ. Perhaps I did have a soul, and I just did not know about it.
Soul or no, I felt bad about letting Carlee think Ven's plan was my plan, my desire. But I did not see anything I could do about it. Ven was right. Life would be better for Carlee without me. The only way to make Carlee leave me behind was if she thought I wanted to leave her. I could not lie to Carlee, but the truth could also be used to deceive.
I knew Carlee would want me to run after her, but instead I stayed in my quarters. As painful was this was going to be, I would have to let us separate.
"Carlee was wrong about one thing," Blaue's holographic image materialized in my room.
"Just one?" I asked.
"Well, perhaps more than one," Blaue relented. "But she called herself a fifteen year old girl. It was my impression that Carlee was born on February 16 in the Earth year of AD 1993."
"She was," I answered. I had not been there for the event, but I had been Carlee's brother most of her life. I knew her birthday.
"Well, that day on Earth passed about a week ago," Blaue said. "Carlee is sixteen now."
"I missed Carlee's birthday?" I exclaimed in disbelief. "And Christmas." My instinct was to find some way to make up for it, to through some sort of extravagant party. However, that would probably get me back into Carlee's good graces. I loved my sister too much to allow her to not be mad at me.
"Time is hard to tell when you're no longer on a planet with a set calender," Blaue responded. "Don't blame yourself. Ven should have done something for her for her birthday. I'll have to berate him."
"So I'm eighteen," I said, surprised that I could come of age - be an adult - and not even know about it. My "birthday" was in January, always a few weeks before Carlee's.
"According to your Earth birth record, yes," Blaue answered. "But you were created after Carlee's birth according to your construction record, so that actually makes you younger than her." The earlier date of my construction date did not bother me. Socially I was older than Carlee, and I was certainly more mature than her. Perhaps it was an affect of my more logical, android brain.
"If you could have Ven throw some sort of party for Carlee I would appreciate it," I said. It did bother me that Ven would get credit for the kind of brotherly duty that was normally mine. However, I had to let Carlee go. It was the best thing for her, regardless if it was the worst thing that could ever happen to me.
I wondered about that, how her words could hurt. I was merely an android. If people like Ven were right, then everything I thought and felt were nothing but built in responses from my programming. That would mean I was not really hurt. My programming was simply telling me that I should feel hurt in order to better simulate a human's feelings.
And yet, wasn't that exactly what a human's brain was? A human's brain was hardwired to think and feel certain ways by the time a human was my age. A human my age would feel hurt by Carlee's reaction because the societal programming in their brain told them they should be. Surely a brain was nothing more than a highly complex, organic computer.
The difference then had to be that human's had souls. At least, humans thought they had something called a soul that somehow made them better than all the other animals on the planet Earth. I did not think there was any "soul" circuit board within me, but humans had no "soul" organ. Perhaps I did have a soul, and I just did not know about it.
Soul or no, I felt bad about letting Carlee think Ven's plan was my plan, my desire. But I did not see anything I could do about it. Ven was right. Life would be better for Carlee without me. The only way to make Carlee leave me behind was if she thought I wanted to leave her. I could not lie to Carlee, but the truth could also be used to deceive.
I knew Carlee would want me to run after her, but instead I stayed in my quarters. As painful was this was going to be, I would have to let us separate.
"Carlee was wrong about one thing," Blaue's holographic image materialized in my room.
"Just one?" I asked.
"Well, perhaps more than one," Blaue relented. "But she called herself a fifteen year old girl. It was my impression that Carlee was born on February 16 in the Earth year of AD 1993."
"She was," I answered. I had not been there for the event, but I had been Carlee's brother most of her life. I knew her birthday.
"Well, that day on Earth passed about a week ago," Blaue said. "Carlee is sixteen now."
"I missed Carlee's birthday?" I exclaimed in disbelief. "And Christmas." My instinct was to find some way to make up for it, to through some sort of extravagant party. However, that would probably get me back into Carlee's good graces. I loved my sister too much to allow her to not be mad at me.
"Time is hard to tell when you're no longer on a planet with a set calender," Blaue responded. "Don't blame yourself. Ven should have done something for her for her birthday. I'll have to berate him."
"So I'm eighteen," I said, surprised that I could come of age - be an adult - and not even know about it. My "birthday" was in January, always a few weeks before Carlee's.
"According to your Earth birth record, yes," Blaue answered. "But you were created after Carlee's birth according to your construction record, so that actually makes you younger than her." The earlier date of my construction date did not bother me. Socially I was older than Carlee, and I was certainly more mature than her. Perhaps it was an affect of my more logical, android brain.
"If you could have Ven throw some sort of party for Carlee I would appreciate it," I said. It did bother me that Ven would get credit for the kind of brotherly duty that was normally mine. However, I had to let Carlee go. It was the best thing for her, regardless if it was the worst thing that could ever happen to me.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Entry 62
I could not take Ven's word for it. Ven hated John, and he would say anything to make me leave John behind. So I raced across the hall to John's room and demanded he let Blaue open the door for me.
"Can I help you, Carlee?" John was sitting at his desk, studying a screen.
"Yes," I said. "Ven says we're going to the android planet, that we're going to leave you there and then send me tot he human colony without you." I watched John, waiting for the surprise and outrage at Ven's audacity. Instead, John calmly met my gaze.
"That is the plan," he said. "Don't be upset, Carlee."
"Don't be upset, Carlee?" My voice rose several octaves. "You and Ven have hatched a plan about my future without consulting me and all you can say is 'Don't be upset, Carlee'?" My anger seemed to be having no affect on my calm brother, which only made me more angry.
"I know you don't like it," John said, "But its for your own good..."
"Because I, a fifteen year old girl, can have no idea what is for my own good, so I can't be trusted to make plans," I said harshly. "But a seventeen year old and a twenty something year old do? Is there some special wisdom that is granted when you turn seventeen that I as a mere fifteen year old can't grasp?" John did not say anything, letting me rant. His silence fueled my anger.
"Or maybe its in your best interest," I continued. "Maybe its just what you want - to get rid of you annoying little sister. Finally you have an excuse to dump me. You don't have to worry about taking care of me, worrying about me, dragging me along. You can be free of this old ball and chain!" Why wasn't he saying anything, my heart cried. Why was he not denying my words? John should have been stopping me, assuring me that he never wanted to get rid of me, that he loved him.
"Well the joke's on you, John." Tears filled my eyes. "Because I don't need you. If you want to go live with your android friends, then do it. I won't stop you." I then turned and fled from the room.
Once in my room I burst into tears. I had not meant the last thing I said. I did need John. I could not imagine my life without him. Without John I had no family.
As I cried I expected John would come running in at any moment, to reassure me that it was all lies and he would never leave me. But John did not come. My tears dried and still he did not come.
I was all alone and afraid I would be for the rest of my life.
"Can I help you, Carlee?" John was sitting at his desk, studying a screen.
"Yes," I said. "Ven says we're going to the android planet, that we're going to leave you there and then send me tot he human colony without you." I watched John, waiting for the surprise and outrage at Ven's audacity. Instead, John calmly met my gaze.
"That is the plan," he said. "Don't be upset, Carlee."
"Don't be upset, Carlee?" My voice rose several octaves. "You and Ven have hatched a plan about my future without consulting me and all you can say is 'Don't be upset, Carlee'?" My anger seemed to be having no affect on my calm brother, which only made me more angry.
"I know you don't like it," John said, "But its for your own good..."
"Because I, a fifteen year old girl, can have no idea what is for my own good, so I can't be trusted to make plans," I said harshly. "But a seventeen year old and a twenty something year old do? Is there some special wisdom that is granted when you turn seventeen that I as a mere fifteen year old can't grasp?" John did not say anything, letting me rant. His silence fueled my anger.
"Or maybe its in your best interest," I continued. "Maybe its just what you want - to get rid of you annoying little sister. Finally you have an excuse to dump me. You don't have to worry about taking care of me, worrying about me, dragging me along. You can be free of this old ball and chain!" Why wasn't he saying anything, my heart cried. Why was he not denying my words? John should have been stopping me, assuring me that he never wanted to get rid of me, that he loved him.
"Well the joke's on you, John." Tears filled my eyes. "Because I don't need you. If you want to go live with your android friends, then do it. I won't stop you." I then turned and fled from the room.
Once in my room I burst into tears. I had not meant the last thing I said. I did need John. I could not imagine my life without him. Without John I had no family.
As I cried I expected John would come running in at any moment, to reassure me that it was all lies and he would never leave me. But John did not come. My tears dried and still he did not come.
I was all alone and afraid I would be for the rest of my life.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Happy Birthday me!
Today is my birthday! I'm 17! Can you believe it? I feel so old.
It just makes me feel better to know that John is 19. No matter how old I get, he'll be older!
It just makes me feel better to know that John is 19. No matter how old I get, he'll be older!
Monday, February 15, 2010
Entry 61
The moment John’s wall opened I jumped to my feet, tossing my book aside. I saw Ven exit the room and I quickly called after him, “Ven!”
Ven turned, his darkly handsome eyes falling on me. “Good afternoon, Carlee,” he said. “Can I be of assistance?”
“Can I talk to you real quick?” I asked. Ven nodded and came into my room. He noticed the book I had tossed aside, laying hazardously on the floor, and amusement touched his eyes. I bristled. I did not like it when people found me amusing.
“Ven, how long are you going to keep us cooped up on this ship?” I demanded, crossing my arms and glaring up at him. “This is no place to keep a growing fifteen-year-old girl.”
“I know,” Ven answered to my surprise, “but you won’t be on the ship much longer. This next leg of our trip will be about two weeks, then we’ll stay on the planet for a while, and then it will be about a month to the human colony. Does that satisfy you, Carlee?” All of my speeches and arguments to convince Ven that we needed to go to the human colony fled my mind.
“You’re taking us to the human colony?” I asked.
“Yes,” Ven nodded. “I’ve already called ahead with our time table. They should be preparing for your arrival, finding a host family for you to live with. You are just a fifteen-year-old girl, Carlee. You can’t live by yourself.” I had expected that. John and I were just minors, and basically foreigners. We had no idea how the human colony worked. It would make sense if we had to live with a host family for a little while until we were old enough and acquainted with our new situation.
“What planet are we visiting first?” I asked, not letting go of my suspicion entirely. “Why can’t we go straight to the human colony?”
“By request of your android, we’re going to the android planet first,” Ven said. “After today’s events, it realizes that it will only hold you back in life, Carlee. On the android planet, it could pretend it was a true person and be treated as an equal.” I stared at Ven in disbelief.
“Are you saying that John wants to live on the android planet and then ship me off to the human colony?” I asked. “That he wants to be separated from me.”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying,” Ven answered. “It realizes that your best chance of life is on the human colony, where it is not allowed. It only wants what is best for you, Carlee, and this is what is best.”
“And I don’t suppose organics are allowed on the android planet?” I asked, though I doubted it would be called an “android planet” if that was true.
“Only for short visits,” Ven said. “I have procured Visas for you and me so we can visit with your android initially. But then we will leave and your android will stay behind.”
“This was your idea,” I accused him. “John doesn’t want this at all. He wouldn’t want to leave me.” Surely John could not want to leave me. If he really was as computerized as Ven thought, then surely his programming would not allow him to leave me. If he was as human as I thought, he would not want to leave his dear little sister.
Unless it was in my best interest. If John thought this was all in my best interest, then he might be seriously considering leaving me behind.
“Carlee, your android is a smart, well programmed machine,” Ven said. Though it felt as if the words were being dragged painfully out of him, Ven’s eyes were sympathetic. “It may not want to leave you, but it knows it must. It is the only way.” He paused. “As I said it will take us at least two weeks to get there. Enjoy those two weeks with your android.
Ven turned, his darkly handsome eyes falling on me. “Good afternoon, Carlee,” he said. “Can I be of assistance?”
“Can I talk to you real quick?” I asked. Ven nodded and came into my room. He noticed the book I had tossed aside, laying hazardously on the floor, and amusement touched his eyes. I bristled. I did not like it when people found me amusing.
“Ven, how long are you going to keep us cooped up on this ship?” I demanded, crossing my arms and glaring up at him. “This is no place to keep a growing fifteen-year-old girl.”
“I know,” Ven answered to my surprise, “but you won’t be on the ship much longer. This next leg of our trip will be about two weeks, then we’ll stay on the planet for a while, and then it will be about a month to the human colony. Does that satisfy you, Carlee?” All of my speeches and arguments to convince Ven that we needed to go to the human colony fled my mind.
“You’re taking us to the human colony?” I asked.
“Yes,” Ven nodded. “I’ve already called ahead with our time table. They should be preparing for your arrival, finding a host family for you to live with. You are just a fifteen-year-old girl, Carlee. You can’t live by yourself.” I had expected that. John and I were just minors, and basically foreigners. We had no idea how the human colony worked. It would make sense if we had to live with a host family for a little while until we were old enough and acquainted with our new situation.
“What planet are we visiting first?” I asked, not letting go of my suspicion entirely. “Why can’t we go straight to the human colony?”
“By request of your android, we’re going to the android planet first,” Ven said. “After today’s events, it realizes that it will only hold you back in life, Carlee. On the android planet, it could pretend it was a true person and be treated as an equal.” I stared at Ven in disbelief.
“Are you saying that John wants to live on the android planet and then ship me off to the human colony?” I asked. “That he wants to be separated from me.”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying,” Ven answered. “It realizes that your best chance of life is on the human colony, where it is not allowed. It only wants what is best for you, Carlee, and this is what is best.”
“And I don’t suppose organics are allowed on the android planet?” I asked, though I doubted it would be called an “android planet” if that was true.
“Only for short visits,” Ven said. “I have procured Visas for you and me so we can visit with your android initially. But then we will leave and your android will stay behind.”
“This was your idea,” I accused him. “John doesn’t want this at all. He wouldn’t want to leave me.” Surely John could not want to leave me. If he really was as computerized as Ven thought, then surely his programming would not allow him to leave me. If he was as human as I thought, he would not want to leave his dear little sister.
Unless it was in my best interest. If John thought this was all in my best interest, then he might be seriously considering leaving me behind.
“Carlee, your android is a smart, well programmed machine,” Ven said. Though it felt as if the words were being dragged painfully out of him, Ven’s eyes were sympathetic. “It may not want to leave you, but it knows it must. It is the only way.” He paused. “As I said it will take us at least two weeks to get there. Enjoy those two weeks with your android.
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